Name: Denver
As a mom or dad to a/or natural little(s), what do you think is your duty to teach them
about their hair? That they should be who they are regardless of how they wear their
hair or regardless of how society feels about what’s acceptable or non acceptable.
What’s on the inner is far more precious than what’s on the outer, yet it’s beautiful to
express “yourself” on the inner and the outer.
If your child (ren) ever wanted to get a relaxer, would you allow them to? Why or why
not?
The thought has not even crossed my mind. I’ve had my hair relaxed from childhood up
until about 11 months ago. My mother decided that a relaxer made it easier for her to
handle my hair. After abstaining from relaxing my hair I’ve learned how to maintain my
hair without it. I will teach my child how to do the same. If they get older and request a
relaxer I may allow it and maintain their relaxer myself just as I did for myself from the
age of 18-26. Being that our hair textures are the same they would only need a
relaxer about every 4 months so it would be limited to 2 relaxers a year.
How would you help them learn to appreciate the beauty of their natural hair?
I would do as I do now. I would forever tell my children and anyone else to embrace the
way that every part of you happens to be in it’s natural state, but if something really
bothers you then you should address it according to what will make “you” happy.
How old is/are your little(s)?
Denver is 5. (And I also have a 9 year old daughter and a 2 year old son).
How do they feel about their natural hair?
There’s a natural love for their natural hair, and I try to do different things with it to
keep it that way. It can be overwhelming sometimes though. I cut my son’s hair to have
one less head to braid.
Do you feel that you have impacted their beliefs about their hair? And why?
My daughters think that my hair is beautiful and have told me so on many occasions. If
they think that my hair is beautiful and their texture is very similar to mine then they’ll
think the same of their own hair as well. My baby girl smiles every time I finish combing
her hair, looks in the mirror and says, “My hair is beautiful”. I used to feel like, “The
straighter the better”, but I’ve been embracing the natural waves and curls and I love it!
What products do you typically use on their hair?
I pretty much make my own products, but to name some things I’ll say, grease, (Of
course!), shampoo with olive oil in it, conditioner, a blend of oils, ( Olive oil, Jojoba
Oil, etc.), pomade for edge control, hair pudding, sometimes a little spritz, and leave in
conditioner or detangler. We have really thick hair and these products help me with
combing thru my daughter’s hair while eliminating the tears.
What is their favorite way to wear their natural hair?
Right now it’s french braids with beads. Sometimes I press it out which stretches the
braids out longer. My son wears a cut that’s not so low so that you can still see the
natural curl in his hair. Before cutting his hair I would either braid it to the back or put
pudding in his hair and curl strands of his hair around my finger. As it got thicker I
would use the pudding while braiding separate braids then take the braids loose and
let him wear the little curls all over his head. But there’s SO many cute ways to do your little’s natural hair.
How do you usually manage your little’s hair?
I like to rotate on a schedule for hair washing times. I don’t like having to wash more
than one head in the same week but sometimes I’m forced to. I have to do a spot wash
on my 2 year old son’s hair as he gets any food that he eats in his hair! I also like to do
multiple ponytails with 3strand braids sometimes. It’ll usually last 2-3 days if wrapped
at night.
What tips would you give to a mom or dad who needs help dealing with their little’s
natural hair?
I would say that it’s important to learn your little one’s hair well. Learn what works
best in their hair. Test out different oils, butters, conditioners, etc. and find the best
natural mixture before jumping to put strong chemicals in your child’s hair. French
braids with beads is also a cute option that can take combing hair off of your hands
for at least 2 weeks. My mother took me to the salon at 10 to start getting relaxers in
my hair. It began to thin my hair out and my mother had to strip it out of my hair and
treat it so that it could get it’s strength and length back. So there’s always a risk when
dealing with harsh chemicals. Especially on the little ones.
Comments:
We live in a world that focuses on the outer yet does not always embrace the outer in
it’s natural form and beauty. Kinky hair may take more time to manage but it is
beautiful if managed correctly. We were conditioned to think that other hair textures
from other races are what’s beautiful and in return rejected our natural beauty. Many
will describe our natural beauty as “Ugly”, “Nappy”, etc. which causes many of our
women of color to feel uncomfortable with their natural beauty. I don’t knock anyone
for relaxing their hair and hate the hate that has grown between the “All-Natural”
women and the “Creamy Crack” using women. I’ve seen full arguments online about it.
I just wish for everyone to learn their hair, except who they are naturally, be
comfortable in their own skin regardless of how their hair texture may be, and to stop
judging others with such shallow perspectives.
Thank you for considering me and my little one’s “Tresume`”. – Queesha
March 16, 2013
bkaphrodite
