Posts tagged ‘life’

Ready to Reset?

I recently learned about a 3 month reset on the site Femmewithbenefits.com and thought I’d share it with you all. I know it started already but be sure to quickly stop by and begin. I think I might do it myself.
THIS SUNDAY, WILL YOU JOIN US? THE 3 MONTH LIFE RESET
tuesday, september 11, 2012 @ 11:26 am

September has always been a monumental month for me. Not on some emo type of stuff, but like literally. I was born eons ago, on this very month and as cheesy as it sounds, every September has been the same. I spend the beginning of it writing down my goals for the rest of the year and then I live out each day with very specific motives– to accomplish those goals. Instead of starting the New Year off with resolutions, I try to go into the New Year already as my better self, that way my first step is with my strongest glide. With the holidays quickly approaching, I find that it’s important that I prepare myself mentally and spiritually for everything that is about to happen. Sometimes when you don’t prepare yourself for what is to come, you miss out on cherishing the moments you think you never have. I call this time of reflection and renewal my 3 Month Reset, and I give myself twelve weeks to reintroduce myself to who I am. I’ve gotten quite a few questions about this process throughout the years — by those who see my journal and are fascinated by it’s diligent display of thoughts, so I decided to break it all down for those of you wanting to dedicate three months to resetting your life and to finding inner peace. The first step is to purchase a journal of your choice (I prefer this notebook) & to grab a pen and some highlighters that you love so that you can have all of the tools necessary to creating your roadmap. With four days left in the week, you have plenty of time to purchase your tools for a fresh start on Sunday. After these 12 weeks, you’ll be amazed at how much you’ll learn about yourself! And when things get tough you’ll find that you’ll have something to reflect on, on the inside. I hope that this is helpful to some, and that it is considered by many. Each number listed below represents a week. Spend one week working on each assignment and be thorough and have fun with it! But if you agree to take on this project, it is very important that you be open and honest with the most important person, and that is, yourself!
1 MAP OUT YOUR GOALS FOR SEPTEMBER – DECEMBER: 
Map out ALL of the goals that you’d like to accomplish before the year ends. This includes health goals, mental goals, financial goals, educational goals, personal goals, spiritual goals, short term, long term, small goals, big goals — as long as it is a goal for the remainder of the year, jot it down. This will help guide you to where you need to go for the next twelve weeks and the more things you write down the more likely you will revisit your book. But keep it as simple as you can because goals that are too wordy, ironically get neglected and overlooked.
2 UNPLUG FROM SOCIAL NETWORKS & SUBTRACT ALL THINGS THAT AREN’T ADDING VALUE TO YOUR LIFE: That’s right, spend at least one month, unplugged from social media. You don’t have to neglect it all, but it is important that you be able to consume yourself with you. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the lives of others that we forget about our own. Ask yourself, “When I die — will I remember more about them or more about me?”, “Will I have spent as much time with myself as I did on their Instagram and Facebook page?”. These questions are critical for growth and inner peace. (I typically only keep my Instagram, but deactivate my Facebook & Twitter accounts). Once all most of your social networks are deactivated, dedicate 3 sheets of paper to write down a list of people and things that you want to let go of. Write down why you’re letting go and end each statement with “but, I forgive you”. This is important so that you can weigh and examine the importance of many things in your life. Perhaps you’ll limit your time on the page of others, perhaps you’ll only give yourself a one day pass a week to go to your ex’s Facebook page. If there are false idols that you subconsciously worship, jot it down and vow to let them go. Give yourself (and God) back your life.
3 CREATE YOUR PERFECT HIM: In week three, the fun begins. The next few pages of your journal will be dedicated to creating your perfect him, but as opposed to focusing on the physical attributes you desire in a man, it’s important that you start off this section by answering the following questions: “What would I want ‘him’ to love about me?”, “What would I want ‘him’ to love about life?”, “What would I want ‘him’ to love more than me?”, and then you can move on to the attributes that you’re truly looking for in a man. Yes, you may now discuss the physical but it is important that you really consider the importance of it. Once you’re done with all of this, number each thing by most important (1) to least important (100) thing to you when it comes to your perfectly imperfect man — in pencil of course. Then use another blank sheet (fourth page of week three) to set your personal standards. Make a list of personal vows and standards to yourself, and then say I doYou can’t expect to say I do to him, without saying I do, to you first. Perhaps you’ll vow not to have sex on the first date. Perhaps you’ll vow to be a friend before trying to be a girlfriend. Perhaps you’ll vow not to beg a man for love. Perhaps you’ll vow not to look for love, but to let love find you. Write your personal vow to self, and then seal it with a kiss. Yes, put on your favorite lipstick and kiss the page. Fact of the day: The kiss dates back to the earliest days of civilization in Ancient Rome and in the Middle East. A kiss was used as the formal seal to agreements, contracts, etc. Hence, the obvious use of the custom at the end of the wedding ceremony- to “seal” the marriage vows.
4 BECOME YOUR OWN OBSESSION: For the final week of the FOCUS segment you are to use up 10 pages, yes 10 whole pages, to write down and jot down things that you love and things about yourself. What are your favorite colors? What do you love the most about yourself? What are your favorite foods? What’s something spontaneous that you’d love to do? What’s your dream date? What are your petpeevees? What was your most embarrassing moment? 10 pages (or 5 pages back and front) must be filled with the answers of your mind, body, heart and soul! Have fun and get to writing! Here are onetwothreefourfivewebsites that are full of fun and mind boggling questions for you to answer. Consider this a personal interview and the start of your journey to self understanding and love.
5 & 6 START TAKING THE INITIATIVE TO TACKLE YOUR GOAL SHEET & SPRING CLEAN ALONG THE WAY: That’s right! Start tackling things on your goal sheet, make the necessary adjustments, and spend each night figuring out how you can become better the following day. An empty mind is the devil’s playground, always have something worthwhile to do. Trash old papers, give away old clothes, and dust neglected corners. Sometimes when there is so much going on around us, we lose focus because we’re trying to get it all sorted. Sort your surrounding environment so there is room left for you to sort through your mind!
7 MANTRA & AFFIRMATION: Write down your personal mantra. What’s the one statement that is basically your motto for every day life? Write down your affirmations. What are positive statements that you believe in and that you promise to live by. Dedicate two pages to listing these things and to explaining why these are the personal statements you agree to live by. Unlike week three where you made vows to how you will handle relationships, you’ll use week seven to creating personal statements that you’ll say throughout the day. Here are a list of daily affirmations that’ll help you based on the situations that you are in and want to be in and here is a website that will help you understand and come up with your own personal mantra. Be sure to recite a few of your chosen mantras and affirmations throughout the day. Use as many pages necessary to make a list of some that work for you — but leave two pages blank in the event that you need to add more.
8 HOLIDAY PLAN: Start making a list of the people that you plan on giving gifts to. Below each, jot down a few gift ideas along with a budget for each person. Be diligent and thoughtful, listen to the small things that your loved ones say that they need to work on or that they need and tailor your gift choices based on those comments and statements that are made. A thoughtful gift doesn’t have to be an expensive gift. Also start figuring out where and how you’re going to spend your holidays and what you’d like to get out of them. Perhaps you want to feed the homeless on Thanksgiving morning, a tradition my family has shared for the past three years. Or perhaps you want to visit family members you haven’t seen since you were a child. Make this holiday season mean more than just tangible gifts and make it a priority to share the gift of love.
9 GOAL FOCUS: It’s important that throughout this process we don’t lose site of the goals that we are working hard towards. Week nine will be dedicated strictly to accomplishing at least two of the goals on our sheet.
10 RELEASE: Remember that list from week two? It’s now time to give it one more read, rip it out, and to let it go (in the ocean if you’re dramatic). This is your day to let go of all of the hostility, anger, and frustration you may have been holding in and for you to let your inner self know that you no longer want it to suffer. But don’t only forgive those who have hurt you, ask for forgiveness for yourself and forgive yourself. After letting go, use a fresh page to list a few tips that’ll help you when negative thoughts try to reconsume you. Although it is important to let go, it is more important not to relapse. The catch? You can only use one page, the front of one page. You no longer will contribute an abundance of anything to present past people or feelings.
11 SEND YOURSELF FLOWERS FOR A RANDOM DATE NEXT YEAR & ATTACH A NOTE: That’s right! Save up some money and send yourself flowers for a random date next year. Attached have a note that means something to you — whether that be one of the mantras or affirmations you found most helpful during your life reset or whether that be something encouraging to tell yourself in the event that you are sad or doubtful, make a statement that matters, to you. You now know yourself enough to know what that is. But don’t schedule that delivery for early 2013, schedule it for this time next year.
12 CELEBRATE: Remember that list of things you love? Now it’s time to indulge. Treat yourself to a few things on that list and celebrate your new life! Perhaps you’ll go bungie jumping like you’ve always wanted to or perhaps you’ll throw a cooking party at your condo like you’ve always planned! No it’s not your birthday, but it is a time celebrate YOU. No one can appreciate you like you can, so show yourself a little love. Also, take a vacation and live vicariously through the life of another. Buy a novel about a girl like you — and finish the year off spending some downtime reading. Books can take you places you may never go and characters can open your eyes to a life you never had. With all of this time spent on yourself, it’s now time to spend a little time next to the life of another. A humbling experience that will show you that people aren’t always what they seem to be on the outside and that life is full of problems but the purpose of the story is always to push through it and to live happily ever after. A lesson necessary for changing your mindset when you get back to seeing others you may be envious of from time to time. You are the author of your life story and although you had little to no control over the narration of the beginning of it, you now have full control of the way the story goes.

BY KIMBERLY OF KIMBERLYLUXE.COM

Matermea x Karen’s Body Beautiful

I was able to read this amazing interview by Matermea with the Beautiful Karen of Karen’s Body Beautiful.

Here’s a little about Matermea:

mater mea is a celebration of the multifaceted lives of mothers of color in New York City’s creative fields, born from a simple idea: that mothers come from all different walks of life. In collaboration with these inspirational women, mater mea uses images and text to illustrate how they juggle womanhood, motherhood and their careers — and how all three worlds have influenced their unique sense of style. We hope you see a little bit of yourself in the mater mea moms who have let us into their most intimate setting: at home, with their children

The interview was a sneak preview into the life(FRO included) and home of Karen and beautiful daughter Imani. Be sure to check it out. I’m sure you will love it

http://www.matermea.com/#/karen/4564225446

Love your Kinks,

BkAphrodite

Creating a fulfilling life

6 Tips to Live in Peace and Balance: What to Let Go

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Anastasiya Goers

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” ~Havelock Ellis

Imagine that you have to move in two days. Would you be able to pack all your possessions in that time and clean out your house completely?

How about your mental baggage? If you have only two days left to finish all the important projects in your life, would you be able to do it?

Three years ago I left the country where I was born and raised and moved permanently to a different place half way around the globe.

Packing was not easy because there were so many things that were meaningful to me but of course I couldn’t take them all. But even more difficult was the part of leaving my friends and family behind. I couldn’t put my friends in a suitcase and smuggle them across the border.

However, the hardest part was still ahead. Soon after I got to the US I realized that I had to let go of a lot of habits and even my lifestyle. Everything was so different from where I grew up.

I had two choices: to hold on to my past, complain, and be completely miserable or let go of everything that was no longer relevant and start a new life while still holding on to my authentic self.

You may not have had to go through such drastic changes in life. However, we all face the dilemma of letting go and holding on.

A lot of times if we are not forced to let go of something we keep dragging 10, 20, 40 years of mental and physical baggage behind us. At some point that baggage becomes so unbearably heavy that we just decide to stop moving forward and start living in the past.

We stop having new goals and dreams. We stop meeting new people. We stop trying new things. We stop learning. But, ironically, we still keep buying and acquiring more physical clutter to fill our homes and closets.

Of course, on the other hand if you throw away everything you love and enjoy, then suddenly you lose your personality. Frankly speaking, you cease to know yourself then.

So, quoting Havelock Ellis again, how do you mingle letting go and holding on? The answer to this question will give you the ultimate inner peace and balance.

1. Physical clutter.

In the world where buying is easier than walking (buying a new gadget requires minimum energy—pick up the phone and order it) it’s really difficult to keep our houses clutter free.

When you try to clean up, throwing away stuff that you no longer use comes easy—like a sweater that has stains from a barbecue party or your kids’ toys that they no longer play with. But how about things that you are emotionally attached to? It’s a totally different story.

Make a stack of things that have meaning to you, look at every item in that stack, and ask yourself “What does this thing really mean to me? If I don’t own it, will I still be able to keep the memories that are dear to me? Can someone else in my family have better use of this item?”

It’s even better to ask someone else to go over this stack with you. While you are emotionally attached to all these items another person (your friend, spouse or a family member) will give you logical reasons why you should or should not hold on to this thing.

Hold on only to a few mementoes that remind you about a particular joyful period. Find a good way to display them where they don’t obstruct your living space or devote only one closet to all your mementoes. Whatever you can’t fit in that closet has to find another home.

2. Dreams and goals.

As years pass we grow and change. Your goals and dreams should grow and change with you.

Can you imagine if all of us held on to the dreams that we had when we were 6-7 years old? Who did you want to be back then? I wanted to be a teacher, not because I wanted to teach others but because I liked to grade papers (in my mind, grading papers with red ink was THE coolest thing in the world.)

At each stage of our life we are allowed to have different dreams and goals. As we mature we can let some of our dreams “retire” because we discover goals that are more important to us. Letting go of a dream doesn’t mean that you have failed at reaching it. It means that you have cleared space for a more meaningful and mature goal in your life.

Hold on to the dreams and goals that are authentic and that represent who you. Let go of the ones that you don’t feel so strong about anymore and always create new ones.

3. Expectations.

One of the worst things in life is always trying to meet somebody’s expectations.

If you are always trying to reach the approval of others then you will never be able to live peacefully. None of us is perfect in the eyes of the others. None of us is perfect, period. The only way that we can be successful and perfect is if we set our own standards and follow our own road in life.

Of course, hold on to some social norms and politeness and also consider the feelings and wellbeing of the people you love. Being authentic and true to yourself doesn’t mean becoming selfish or thoughtless.

4. Bad habits.

Is there any reason to keep bad habits in your life? Constant improvement is a sure sign of a balanced and happy person. A lot of times letting go of a habit is difficult. That’s why so many of us (me included) fail at this goal.

The only way that you can change your lifestyle is to plant a firm decision into your head. You are not doing it for someone else, you are not doing it because you are expected to. You are doing it because you want to live the best life and you care about the people around you who might be suffering from your bad habit.

Choose one habit that you want to work with and “prepay” 20% of your success. It’s a marketing strategy that works great for attracting customers as well as tricking your brain into starting a transformation.

If you want to lose some weight what would you much rather do—get on a strict diet or stop eating sweets after lunch? Unless you are a disciplinary freak of nature you would choose not eating sweets after lunch. By doing that for a week you have “prepaid” for your success. Next week it will be easier for you to start cutting your portions or move from an egg and bacon biscuit for breakfast to some healthy oatmeal.

Hold on to some of your habits (for right now). One of the main reasons why people fail at transforming their bad habits is because they do too much too fast. Choose just one habit and work on it until you have succeeded.

5. Memories and experiences.

Our brain is hard-wired into noticing and holding on to negative events five times more effectively than positive ones. This phenomenon is called “negativity bias.” It’s the reason why we keep dwelling on a negative conversation with a colleague at work instead of noticing the roses bloom outside.

The only way to fight this built-in negativity is to focus on positive events and make sure that your brain remembers them as vividly as it does negative ones.

Hold on to your positive memories by writing them down. A recent study published in Psychology Today suggested that it takes 5 positive events to outweigh one negative one in your life. Whenever you start feeling the attack of negative thoughts think of as many positive events of the day as possible.

Focus on the joys of present day and stop dwelling in the past.

6. People.

Sometimes we have to make a decision to let go of people in our lives.

It’s in your best interests to let go of difficult and negative people, those who constantly bring you down or undermine your efforts to improve your lifestyle. If they are unwilling to understand your current goals then you are better off without them.

If you are not able to let go then you might want to minimize the time that you spend with them.

Hold on to your close friends, your confidants. Whether it is your spouse, your family member or a friend please make it a priority to spend time with them, to share your joys, ask for advice, and have fun together. It will make you happier and more positive and it can even improve your health.

Letting go is not as hard as it seems. Every little thing that you let go of today makes room for something new and amazing in your life. A life of genuine balance and peace starts when you learn to let go without regret and hold on with gratitude.

Photo by H.Koppdelaney

Source:Tiny Buddha

Until next time….

Love,
BkAphrodite

Happy Birthday Bob Marley!

On this day, February 6, 1945, a legend was born; Roberta Nesta. He has become well known to spread
“positive vibrations” through the sounds of his reggae music and thoughts. Today we recognize a great…..Bob Marley!
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Just wanted to take the time to spread some of his messages with you all as motivation & his beautiful natural hair of course. Locs are so beautiful!!!

“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake up and live”.
– Bob Marley

“Every man gotta right to decide his own destiny”.
– Bob Marley

“Don’t gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold”.
– Bob Marley

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Words to keep…

“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, somg go. The ones that stay with you through everything – they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up becuase if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”
– Marilyn Monroe

Until next time…

Love,
BkAphrodite

Love Thee

In life you must first love yourself. There is no other person that could love you better than YOU!

Focus on your dreams and aspirations
Strive to be healthier
Exercise
Pamper
Experience

In life we may come across obstacles but we have to overcome those same obstacles. We may fall but we have to get back up and improve. No one is perfect. Strive to do better than the last. Stand strong and show everyone what we are capable of achieving.

Love Yourself 1st!!!

Until next time….

Love,
BkAphrodite