Eliminate direct heat like flat irons, blow dryers, etc. as much as possible. Use hooded dryers on a medium setting (or lower) for as little time possible.
I stopped using direct heat 2 months into my transition.
Learn to embrace your texture. It’s easy to get caught up in someone else’s head, but chances are your hair isn’t like theirs. So don’t waste your time wishing you had someone else’s crown. It will leave you disappointed and exhausted. Love what God gave you.
Deep condition weekly with moisturizing conditioners. This will help strengthen and soften your new growth, relaxed hair and prevent breakage.
A lot of new transitioners complain about coarse and unmanageable new growth. Let me tell you that deep conditioning is key to dealing with this. After doing this consistently for 6-8 weeks (I use Organics Olive Oil Replenisher), I noticed a changed in my hair’s manageability and texture.
This is especially important if you’ve used a lot of direct heat (flat irons, blow dryers) on your hair. Even a minimal amount of heat damage can make your hair texture feel worse than it truly is.
And unless you carefully moisturize your new growth before flat ironing (and most people don’t) you probably have some heat damage. This can be misleading and it makes you think your hair is more coarse than it is. Your hair is probably just fried and starving for moisture.
Wear a lot of protective styles. Rod sets, twist outs, braid outs, flat twists, buns, braids/extensions (not too tight), straw sets, etc. should become your go-to styles. See my posts on styling transitioning hair.
Limit combing, pulling (tight ponytails) and manipulation. The above hairstyles do not require combing. The only time you should comb your hair is when you detangle on wash day.
Use sulfate-free shampoos. Sulfates strip your hair of its natural oils. Natural hair can be dry enough, you don’t need help from sulfates. The Giovanni line is my fave.
Trim your ends every 4-6 weeks. If you have split ends, they will travel up to your natural hair and cause breakage.
Make assumptions about your hair texture too early. It will likely change as you continue to transition. In my 2nd month of transitioning, my new growth felt dry, coarse and brittle.
My hair follicles were extremely damaged, so even after I stopped relaxing I was still growing scab hair. At first, I thought this was my hair’s texture, but it wasn’t. This is the very reason many people stop transitioning.
But as I continued to deep condition weekly and lay off the direct heat, my hair softened up. I started seeing curl definition and my hair began retaining moisture better.
So don’t be fooled by your new growth’s texture while you are relaxing and when you start transitioning. You may be going through the scab hair period.
The good news is, most people stop growing scab hair 3-6 months after starting their transition.
Listen to ignorant peers, friends and family. Why should there be anything wrong with wanting to wear your hair the way you came into this world?
Unfortunately kinky hair is often seen as the ugliest/worst kind of hair to have, but that’s only because we are comparing it to the majority, which is straight, Euro-centric hair.
If everyone had kinky hair there would be no class system of hair and comparisons. We have been brainwashed to believe straighter hair is more beautiful because that’s what society feeds us (through magazines, TV, etc.)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. As long as you feel your hair is beautiful, why should anyone else’s opinion matter? Trust me, it may take some time to get to this level, but it will happen eventually.
Coat your hair with too many products. As your hair grows out, you may feel the need to “fix it” by using multiple products. Product overload can suffocate your strands, cause breakage and make your hair appear dull.
Your hair does not need to be “fixed.” Learn to embrace whatever grows out of your head. A light moisturizer 3-5 times a week should be enough for most people. You can seal in the moisture with a natural oil like olive, castor, coconut, jojoba, sweet almond, etc.
Become a product junky. This is sort of like the pot calling the kettle here. I’m a self-proclaimed product junky. I have been for many years, even when I was relaxing.
It got worse when I started transitioning because I was obsessed with trying to achieve someone else’s hair by using the products they use. I talk about this very issue in this video.
The only products you need are a good shampoo, conditioner (leave-in and rinse out) and a few daily moisturizers (preferably natural oils.) See my favorite transitioning product page.
Get caught up in rules and judgments. There are a lot of naturals who have definitions of what wearing natural hair means. Some become anti weave, anti colored contacts, anti straight hair, and anything that is not “natural.”
Remember, this is your journey. Find out what being natural means to you. Don’t let other’s opinions shape your actions and beliefs about what you have to do and cannot do because you wear natural hair. Also be careful of criticizing others just because they don’t share your journey or opinions.
I think it’s great when going natural inspires people to live healthier lives. But it’s not cool when that turns into judging others for their choices and opinions.
Expect acceptance from everyone. Let’s just keep it real for a minute. A lot of people don’t like and will never like natural hair. Period. End of story. There’s nothing you can do to make everyone approve of your choice.
But your real friends and people who genuinely love and support you will respect your decision, even if they don’t embrace your choice of hairstyle.
Naysayers of natural hair are everywhere, but at some point you have to live life for yourself and not for other people’s acceptance.
Until next time….